What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #29--ENCOUNTERS

You are very beautiful.
You are woman of my dreams.
Are you married?
Is that your husband or your research assistant?
I would like to marry you. Tell your friend to go away.
I want to bring you home to meet my mother/wife/wives/sons/children.

My husband is a wrestler.
My husband is a CEO.
My husband is a lawyer.
My husband is a drug smuggler.

It does not matter. Come with me now.
I will make you very happy.
I will wait for you here.
I will pick you up at your hotel.

I don't understand.
Can you write that down please?
Goodbye.
Good night.
See you later.
Well, thanks for your help.

Is he going to follow us?
Is he following us?
Should I let him help me carry my bags?
He's following us.
Maybe he lives here, too.
Does he want to come in?
Tell him you're married.
He's saying he doesn't understand.
He's saying that it doesn't matter.
Tell him you don't understand.
He's motioning to us.

Maybe he wants to show us something.
Is their word for rocket the same as...?
Tell him you don't understand.
Is their word for banana the same as...?
Tell him you don't understand.
Is their word for thumb the same as...?
Tell him you don't understand.

Does he want us to follow him?
Where are you from?
You are very beautiful.
He wants us to take his picture.
He wants me to take his picture with you.
I think that means money.

He's offering to take a picture of us buying "dinka" at the market.
Where's your camera?
Where are you staying?
Should we tell him where we're staying?
Just say you don't understand.
Just say you don't know.
Just say you haven't decided yet.
Ask him if he knows a cheap place.
I don't think I want to ask him that.
His family runs a hotel.
Is this the hotel?
We're just here in (country) for the day.
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