What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #35--SUPERLATIVES

This is the smallest a room can be and still contain two beds.
This is the most disgusting bathroom/shower we have seen.
I think that was my last traveler's check.
So you used up the last of the toilet paper and didn't tell me.

I guess this is as good a time as any to use my last tampon. Do you see any stores around?
This is the most crowded market/bus station we've ever been in.
This is the loudest shoe store we've been at.

I've heard about them but this is the first time I've ever seen someone actually wearing high heel sneakers.

Of course I'd get my first blister when we're hiking to the volcano.
This is the highest mountain we have climbed.

That's the most we've paid so far for a bottle of water.

I can't breathe. Is this the highest altitude we've been at?

This is the muggiest beach I've ever been on.
That is the biggest gun I have ever seen.

This is the heaviest my luggage has ever been. It must be the ashtrays.

Best sign: Do not use Slingshot.

Second best sign: God is coming and it'd better be quick.

Most direct answer: Can you buy cold beer to go in this town? No.
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