What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #13—SACRED PLACE

What are all these dogs doing here?

If this is such a sacred place, then why are those kids playing soccer in the human sacrifice plaza?

If this is such a sacred place, then why are those kids playing hide-and-seek around the altar?

If this is such a sacred place, then why are those kids splashing under the holy fountain?

Look at that statue. Why does the man have a plate sticking out of his head with little tufted plants growing out of it?
Yeah, he's dancing with some kind of rattle. Maybe he's a god.

No, I think that's a calendar. You know, I don't think that's a rattle in his hand.

Whatever.
Stop pointing. I think that means something in their religion.
Where is the monastery?
Have you seen a garbage can around anywhere?
Where is the convent?
Is there a bathroom here?
Where is the temple?

I wonder how many times a day they had to walk up and down those steps.

For most people, only once, the last time. Then their parts went every which way, so to speak.

Is this where they cut their hearts out?

Why do those skulls have all those little holes in them? Was that a headache remedy?
Keep your voice down, this is a sacred place. 
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