What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #39—DIRECTIONS TO THE RUINS

Where are The Ruins?
Is there a bus to The Ruins?
Do taxis cost a lot?
Can we walk?  Is it far?
Is it safe to walk?

You can't get there from here.
But isn't that it right over there? Across the canal?
Do you have a map of the city?
How much does a map cost?
Is twelve million bongoes a lot?

I gave him three million bongoes and all I got back was two coins. Or was it thirty million?

Let's go to that market, buy a soda/coffee, and figure out where we are on the map.

This map is in (language).
Do you have a map of the city in English?
How much does the map cost?
He says 2 1/2 million bongoes.

Give it to him, then let's get out of here. He'll feed his family for a month on our map money.
The Ruins are less than a mile away from here, I think.

Do you think this counts as a street?
Why aren't there any names on these streets?
Why don't they label their streets?

We sure are out of the market area now.
Ask him if we're close to The Ruins.
These kids must know where The Ruins are.

They're holding out individual little candies.
All I did was give one little girl a quarter.
I think they want us to buy some. Which one should I buy from?
There's more coming around the corner.

We don't have enough bongoes for all of them.
Don't you have any small change?
What's small change in bongoes?
I don't know, anything under ten thousand. Or one thousand.
Are these coins worth anything?
Just buy some candies then we'll go away.

The kids are following us. Where are they all coming from?
Are we almost there?
Do you still think The Ruins are close by?
Wouldn't there be a historical marker or something?

Maybe we take this path.
There's a little man sitting next to the path. He might know.
He wants to show us something wrapped in old newspapers.
Ask him for a map.

He wants us to buy a rock or something.
Ask him if this is the way to The Ruins.
He's saying numbers.
I think it's the price of those rocks.
Buy a rock then ask about The Ruins.
Does that mean far, far away?
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