What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #1: LANGUAGE AND INFORMATION

I don't speak (language).
I can speak a little (language).
Say it again more slowly.
Can you repeat it, please?
Can you say it again more slowly, please?
Did you get any of that?
Maybe it's subjunctive.
I think you're just making excuses.
Have you tried French/Bengali/Russian/Urdu/Tagalog/Tzeltal?
Am I just imagining things or is everyone staring at us?
Is that man a policeman?
Is that man a soldier?
Is that man a priest?
Is that man a customs inspector/airline pilot/sanitation worker?
Is that a list of towns or kinds of beer?

(Whispered). Don't say anything in English and maybe he/they won't know we're Americans.
I could say a few words in French.
Just shut up.
What does (word) mean? I think it's a verb. Maybe not.

Well, the dictionary says it means to conquer, surrender, return, produce, or vomit.
Thanks. I'm glad this wasn't an emergency.

Is there an information booth?
Do you see an information booth anywhere/somewhere?
Ask him where the information booth is.
Could you tell what language he is speaking?
Maybe we can look it up in a brochure.
Can't we find a brochure on it?
Did they mention tickets in your guidebook?
Is that man a policeman/soldier/priest/militia/street sweeper?
A map. Can we buy a map anywhere around here? A map of this city.
I thought there was a map in Part of the World for Cheapskates.
Posted by at