What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #2: MONEY MATTERS, BEGINNER'S LEVEL

Can you change dollars here?
How many bongoes per dollar today?
Is that the official rate?
Is there an official rate?
This doesn't seem like what they told us at the travel agency.
Are we buying or selling?
We're selling dollars and buying bongoes.
Am I reading the sign right? 350,000 bongoes per dollar?
I think that's it. But 390 million bongoes for us to buy a dollar.
That doesn't sound quite right to me.
I don't know if I can get used to this.
Didn't you change any money at the airport?
Is three million bongoes a lot?

Of course it is. Almost a hundred dollars. I mean ten dollars. Wait a minute.
Do they take traveler's checks?
Can I use my charge card?
Why can't he say yes or no?
Is he saying yes or no? Which one?
Should we try somewhere else?
We can't get very far without bongoes.
Is there anyone here who speaks English?
Why aren't there any other tourists here?
Does he still have your passport?
Is that man a policeman/soldier/priest/sanitation worker?
I don't think I can get used to this.
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