What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #19—NATURE AND ENVIRONMENT

What are those big red things on that tree?
What are those little plants with the blue berries?
What are those big vines with the yellow flowers?
We want to see the butterflies.
We want to see the crocodiles.
We want to see the water lilies.
We want to see the reindeer.
We want to see the water buffalo.
We want to see the llamas.
We want to see the emus.
We want to see the tulips.
We want to see the killer bees.
We want to see the bougainvilleas.
We want to see the warblers.
We want to see the orchids.
How far are the reindeer/water lilies from here?
Where are the butterflies/crocodiles?
Are the water buffalo/tulips here?
Didn't he say that the water buffalo/tulips were here?
Are those the llamas/warblers over there?
No, they are reindeer/orchids.
I don't see anything.
Maybe the ostriches/killer bees don't come here this time of day/year.
Part of the World for Cheapskates says this is the experience of a lifetime.
Can you see the llamas/crocodiles when it is raining/snowing?
Can we walk on foot to see the tulips/crocodiles?
Can you take us to see the antelopes/banana trees?

Will you wait for us here while we look for the butterflies/tulips/wildebeests?
Where is that man with the truck?
Where is that man with the bus?
Where is that man with the cart?
Where is that man with the donkey?
Didn't he say he would wait for us here?
Did you pay him already?
I said, did you already pay him?
Maybe he's waiting over there behind that hill/tree/hut.
Is there a village nearby that we can walk to from here?
Do you have any post cards of the crocodiles/butterflies/tulips/reindeer?
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