What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #7—STREET MARKET

Are these fruits, or vegetables?
Never seen anything like it before.
Well, let's try one.
Buy just one?
I think there's something wrong with the scale.
How could one of these purple things cost half a million bongoes?
It's because it weighs two kilometers.
Did he say fifteen hundred thousand or fifty thousand bongoes?
I think it was five hundred thousand.
How much does this cost?
How much does that cost?
No, that other one over there. The red one.
How do you say "red" in (language)?
Is that in bongoes or in dollars?
Why is this one more expensive?
Do you have one that's cheaper?
Can you show me another one in a different color?
Can you show me another one in a larger/smaller size?
Tell him we're just looking.
How do you fasten this belt?
The buckles are sold separately?
Are you sure this is a belt?
Can I buy a buckle here?
Tell him we're just looking.

I gave him ten million bongoes and all I got was this T-shirt and two coins.
What kind of stone is in those earrings?
Is this real gold/silver?
Is this a real diamond?
Is this real turquoise/opal/lapis/jade/amber?
He says this one comes from the royal temple.
He says this one comes from under the altar.
He says this one comes from a secret room under the castle's wine cellar.
He says this one comes from the monastery's herb garden tool shed.
He says this one comes from the pyramid.
He says this one comes from the tombs.
I like that bracelet.
Where was it made?
Is is from here?
Do you have any crafts?
I like these baskets.
Do you have any made locally?
Do you have any made in this province?
Do you have any made in this country?
Do you have any made in this hemisphere?
Are all of your crafts made in Malaysia?
He says his family makes everything in this stall.
This little tag says made in Taiwan.
Isn't this just like the one at Pier One?
Is that man a policeman/customs officer/airline pilot/militia/priest?
Why is he closing his shop now?
Why is he going away?
I'm a tourist/American/traveler.
Should we say we're working for National Geographic?
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