What is this?

QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? ***WHAT IS THIS?***CHTO ETO?

Welcome to At the Ruins (by Shirley B. Trew), the generic phrasebook-cum-novel introduced by the dear Professor Emeritus Jacques Roundabout in the blog at-the-ruins.blogspot.com.

Here, the Conventional/Traditional novel form is used, just the way Charles Dickens's work (originally a 19th. c. blog of the era) is now packaged in fat books.

Read Professor Roundabout's Foreword, then plunge into the phrasebook novel. Uh, novel phrasebook.

Just read Post #1, then Post #2, and so on. At the bottom of each page, CLICK OLDER POSTS. Don't worry, you'll catch on eventually.

Contact me at sbtrew@gmail.com

P.S. THE FOREWORD SETS UP THE PREMISE; YA GOTTA READ IT.


FOREWORD, by Professor Jacques Roundabout


Often, people travel in pairs. One has common sense, the other speaks a little of the language. One is obsessed with maps, the other with native costumes. One is into photography, the other, shopping. One keeps an eye out for food, the other, ruins.

Here, finally, is the perfect travel phrasebook for both of them.

The problem with so many well-intentioned travelers' phrasebooks is that they're written in two languages, when in fact travelers most often find themselves juggling three or four at least as they seek stimulation and adventure around the world, and directions on how to find a bathroom.

But hardly anybody can handle three or four languages, and most Americans can't even handle two.

Besides, when the natives offer to sell you things, ask you questions, or even give you directions, they speak in their own language, with their own accents, and at normal speed. So even if your phrasebook has all the answers in it, everything will happen too fast for you to be able to translate and understand what they've said.

This first generic phrasebook skips over the frustration and gets right to the essence of your travel experience.

At long last, here is a traveler's phrasebook that translates all the phrases that you are likely to use, need, or hear into one language--good old American English. For the first time, you can finally grasp the essence of your travel experience.

Bon voyage! Oops--Good Trip!

J.R., Timbuktu

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


POST #9--SHOPPING

How much does this cost, please?
Is that the price for Americans?
How much do other people pay for it?

Do you have change for 500 million bongoes? A packet of seeds shouldn't cost that much.
Why is there a picture of crickets on this can?
How do you say lense cap in (language)?
How much is a roll of film?
I lost my lense cap.
We're just looking.
Can you tell what's in this box?
What do they use this brown powder for?
What's in all of these little tubes?
Is this toothpaste?
No, I think it's burn ointment.
Is this shampoo?
Either that or dish soap. Open it up and smell it. We'll use it either way.
Tell him we're just looking.
Leave me alone.
Is there someone here who speaks English?
Ask him if he sells razors.
How do you say razor blade in (language)?
Where could we buy some razor blades?
New razor blades. Fresh from the factory. Unopened.
Yes I mean un-used razor blades.
That's OK if they cost more.
So where can we buy razor blades?
Never mind let's ask the guy who sells magazines.
Maybe I would look OK in a beard.
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